Warning: The following post is intentionally over the top and may cause emotional damage to self-proclaimed "Worship Leaders." Though it represents a genuine expression of the author's views on the subject of W.L.s, he has written with a light heart and means it all in good fun.
TODAYS SUBJECT: |
Yesterday I came across a very unexpectedly delightful article (written by Kevin DeYoung) promoting two seemingly incongruous subjects near and dear to my heart: |  Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, (15 October 1881 – 14 February 1975) was an English author and one of the most widely read humorists of the 20th century. |
Read Wodehouse & Read the Bible
by Kevin DeYoung
P.G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) is hands down one of the best writers in the English language, ever. He isn’t profound. He isn’t penetrating. His books may not be dissected in lit classes. But his command of vocabulary and syntax is amazing and his humor is, unlikely other humorists, actually very, very funny. There’s nothing like unwinding with a little Jeeves and Wooster after a four hour elder meeting to get the old egg cracking again, what?
Reading Wodehouse spin tall tales about foppish socialites and an unflappable butler is reminiscent of the best (and cleanest) episodes of Seinfeld. The stories are about nothing, but the characters are so memorable (e.g., the newt loving Gussie Fink-Nottle), the dialogue so perfectly ridiculous (“Hello ugly, what brings you here?”), and the put-downs so ingenious (“It was as if nature had intended to make a gorilla, and had changed its mind at the last moment”) that you can’t help grin, chuckle, and even occasionally cackle.
One reason to read Wodehouse is to admire his use of the Bible. I don’t think he had much of a faith commitment, but his biblical literacy is astounding. For example, take this from the opening pages of The Code of the Woosters, where Bertie is complaining about his rough sleep the night before: “I had been dreaming that some bounder was driving spikes through my head–not just ordinary spikes, as used by Jael the wife of Heber, but red-hot ones.” When’s the last time you’ve hear Jael referenced in a sermon, let alone a novel?
Wodehouse, the product of a more biblically-versed era and, admittedly, a brilliant writer, was constantly making biblical allusions.
Since leaving school he had not devoted much time to the study of the Scriptures, and the stories of the Old Testament had to a great extent passed from his mind. Had this not been so, he would now have been thinking how close was the parallel between his own predicament and that of Moses on the summit of Mount Pisgah. Moses had looked wistfully at a promised land which he was never to reach. He in his mind’s eye was gazing with equal wistfulness at a promised millionaire with whom there seemed no chance of ever talking business.
Here’s a clergyman wondering to Bertie, who is secretly engaged in a gambling ring betting on the length of sermons, if his message might be too long:
You do not think it would be a good thing to cut, to prune? I might, for example, delete the rather exhaustive excursus into the family life of the early Assyrians?
And then there’s this allusion to Job 39:25 (which I had to look up):
He sat up with a jerk. The Biblical horse that said “Ha, ha” among the trumpets could not have displayed more animation.
For good measure, here are few more of my favorites strung together:
There was a death-where-is-thy-sting-fulness about her manner which I found distasteful.
For the first time since the bushes began to pour forth Glossops, Bertram Wooster could be said to have breathed freely. I don’t say that I actually came out from behind the bench, but I did let go of it, and with something of the relief which those three chaps in the Old Testament must have experienced after sliding out of the burning fiery furnace, I even groped tentatively from my cigarette case.
Bertie Wooster won the Scripture-knowledge prize at a kids’ school we were at together, and you know what he’s like. But, of course, Bertie frankly cheated. He succeeded in scrounging that Scripture-knowledge trophy over the heads of better men by means of some of the rawest and most brazen swindling methods ever witnessed even at a school where such things were common. If that man’s pockets, as he entered the examination-room, were not stuffed to bursting point with lists of the kings of Judah–
And last but not least:
He fingered his moustache unhappily. He was feeling now as Elijah would have felt in the wilderness if the ravens had suddenly developed cut-throat business methods.
So what’s the point of all this? Nothing profound, just two things: read Wodehouse and read the Bible–in reverse order of course.
Reading Wodehouse spin tall tales about foppish socialites and an unflappable butler is reminiscent of the best (and cleanest) episodes of Seinfeld. The stories are about nothing, but the characters are so memorable (e.g., the newt loving Gussie Fink-Nottle), the dialogue so perfectly ridiculous (“Hello ugly, what brings you here?”), and the put-downs so ingenious (“It was as if nature had intended to make a gorilla, and had changed its mind at the last moment”) that you can’t help grin, chuckle, and even occasionally cackle.
One reason to read Wodehouse is to admire his use of the Bible. I don’t think he had much of a faith commitment, but his biblical literacy is astounding. For example, take this from the opening pages of The Code of the Woosters, where Bertie is complaining about his rough sleep the night before: “I had been dreaming that some bounder was driving spikes through my head–not just ordinary spikes, as used by Jael the wife of Heber, but red-hot ones.” When’s the last time you’ve hear Jael referenced in a sermon, let alone a novel?
Wodehouse, the product of a more biblically-versed era and, admittedly, a brilliant writer, was constantly making biblical allusions.
Since leaving school he had not devoted much time to the study of the Scriptures, and the stories of the Old Testament had to a great extent passed from his mind. Had this not been so, he would now have been thinking how close was the parallel between his own predicament and that of Moses on the summit of Mount Pisgah. Moses had looked wistfully at a promised land which he was never to reach. He in his mind’s eye was gazing with equal wistfulness at a promised millionaire with whom there seemed no chance of ever talking business.
Here’s a clergyman wondering to Bertie, who is secretly engaged in a gambling ring betting on the length of sermons, if his message might be too long:
You do not think it would be a good thing to cut, to prune? I might, for example, delete the rather exhaustive excursus into the family life of the early Assyrians?
And then there’s this allusion to Job 39:25 (which I had to look up):
He sat up with a jerk. The Biblical horse that said “Ha, ha” among the trumpets could not have displayed more animation.
For good measure, here are few more of my favorites strung together:
There was a death-where-is-thy-sting-fulness about her manner which I found distasteful.
For the first time since the bushes began to pour forth Glossops, Bertram Wooster could be said to have breathed freely. I don’t say that I actually came out from behind the bench, but I did let go of it, and with something of the relief which those three chaps in the Old Testament must have experienced after sliding out of the burning fiery furnace, I even groped tentatively from my cigarette case.
Bertie Wooster won the Scripture-knowledge prize at a kids’ school we were at together, and you know what he’s like. But, of course, Bertie frankly cheated. He succeeded in scrounging that Scripture-knowledge trophy over the heads of better men by means of some of the rawest and most brazen swindling methods ever witnessed even at a school where such things were common. If that man’s pockets, as he entered the examination-room, were not stuffed to bursting point with lists of the kings of Judah–
And last but not least:
He fingered his moustache unhappily. He was feeling now as Elijah would have felt in the wilderness if the ravens had suddenly developed cut-throat business methods.
So what’s the point of all this? Nothing profound, just two things: read Wodehouse and read the Bible–in reverse order of course.
Read Wodehouse for free at Project Gutenberg
An Irish Gentleman Somewhere in my studies of Monty Python's Flying Circus I seem to remember a sketch about a bookshop in which an odd customer expends a great deal of energy inquiring about the availability of all sorts of weird and whimsical titles. While I have forgotten many of those titles there is one that sticks with me - 101 Ways to Start a Fight, by "an Irish gentleman whose name eludes me for the moment."
One wonders if that fictitious Irish gentleman would have included a discussion of baptism in his book. If not he should have. History proves that baptism discussions are sure ways of starting fights. But the question is - why?
I have personally come to believe that while genuine Christians may never find total agreement regarding the mode, meaning, and proper administration of baptism we can at least live at peace with one another. In fact I've often felt that the reason baptism can be such a flashpoint of controversy for many of us Christians is because of our own ignorance. In a word, we do not understand the baptismal practices of others nor do we want to understand them. And yet... shouldn't Christian charity and godly humility lead us to at least try and understand those Christian brothers and sisters with whom we disagree? I recall the Christian apologist John Lennox once telling us "You have to love your opponents enough to read what they're reading. If you don't love them enough to do this you'll never understand what they are thinking." If this is true for our "opponents" how much more should we exhibit this kind of love to our fellow siblings in God's household?
By way of confession, there was a time when I was unwilling to try and understand other baptismal practices... I think I had come to believe that to do so might in some way force me to compromise my own beliefs and/or the distinctives of the churches I belonged to... But this was a silly thing to fear. Over the course of my life the Lord has providentially forced me to examine and re-examine the various baptismal practices of the churches and denominations that I've been part of. Far from undermining my convictions the process has actually helped crystalize my position on baptism. But more than this, it has helped me better understand and (by God's enabling grace) to better love all of Christ's people... even the ones with whom I disagree.
Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if the Body of Christ, despite its differences and without compromising its respective convictions on secondary matters, would love each other enough to try and understand each other? Rest assured if we accomplish this there will never be an Irishman anywhere writing about us in 101 Ways to Start a Fight.
Let me encourage you to begin exploring differing baptismal practices. A good place to begin might be with R. Scott Clark's provocatively entitled article Is Infant Baptism a Roman Catholic Leftover?
One wonders if that fictitious Irish gentleman would have included a discussion of baptism in his book. If not he should have. History proves that baptism discussions are sure ways of starting fights. But the question is - why?
I have personally come to believe that while genuine Christians may never find total agreement regarding the mode, meaning, and proper administration of baptism we can at least live at peace with one another. In fact I've often felt that the reason baptism can be such a flashpoint of controversy for many of us Christians is because of our own ignorance. In a word, we do not understand the baptismal practices of others nor do we want to understand them. And yet... shouldn't Christian charity and godly humility lead us to at least try and understand those Christian brothers and sisters with whom we disagree? I recall the Christian apologist John Lennox once telling us "You have to love your opponents enough to read what they're reading. If you don't love them enough to do this you'll never understand what they are thinking." If this is true for our "opponents" how much more should we exhibit this kind of love to our fellow siblings in God's household?
By way of confession, there was a time when I was unwilling to try and understand other baptismal practices... I think I had come to believe that to do so might in some way force me to compromise my own beliefs and/or the distinctives of the churches I belonged to... But this was a silly thing to fear. Over the course of my life the Lord has providentially forced me to examine and re-examine the various baptismal practices of the churches and denominations that I've been part of. Far from undermining my convictions the process has actually helped crystalize my position on baptism. But more than this, it has helped me better understand and (by God's enabling grace) to better love all of Christ's people... even the ones with whom I disagree.
Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if the Body of Christ, despite its differences and without compromising its respective convictions on secondary matters, would love each other enough to try and understand each other? Rest assured if we accomplish this there will never be an Irishman anywhere writing about us in 101 Ways to Start a Fight.
Let me encourage you to begin exploring differing baptismal practices. A good place to begin might be with R. Scott Clark's provocatively entitled article Is Infant Baptism a Roman Catholic Leftover?
Thom Rainer, president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources, recently wrote a blog post entitled: "Ten Common Frustrations of Pastors." I repost it here because it is very insightful.
"Ten Common Frustrations of Pastors"
You won’t hear pastors express these frustrations often, but they are very real.
Indeed, some of these issues hinder their ministries. Here are ten of the most common frustrations, followed by close approximations of quotes I’ve heard from pastors.
You won’t hear pastors express these frustrations often, but they are very real.
Indeed, some of these issues hinder their ministries. Here are ten of the most common frustrations, followed by close approximations of quotes I’ve heard from pastors.
| 1. Church members who treat church attendance as a low priority. “We have families who treat soccer attendance as a non-negotiable, but a few drops of rain means they will miss church.” 2. Criticisms over minutia. “She sent me an email complaining about my socks. I’m serious. My socks." |  |
3. Concern over financial wellbeing of family. “A prominent member of the church told me they were keeping my pay low to keep me humble. I guarantee you he doesn’t practice the same humility.”
4. Expectations to understand the business and leadership side of church life. “I have no idea about some of the financial decisions I’m supposed to lead at the church. Seminary did not prepare me for this.”
5. Complaints to or about family members. “A church member complained to me because my wife isn’t in the choir. She’s never been in a choir and has no desire to be in a choir.”
6. Inadequate uninterrupted sermon prep time. “Unfortunately, some of the members think my sermon preparation time is free time for them to chat.”
7. Losing church members. “I wish I could handle losing church members, but I still take it personally.”
8. Concerns over church budget. “Giving has been down for two years straight. We may soon have to cut staff or pay.”
9. Declining or plateaued church. “I’ve done everything I know to lead our church to growth to no avail. It’s so frustrating.”
10. Designated giving toward personal preferences. “We no longer meet our budget because we have six or seven families designating their giving for their pet projects.”
4. Expectations to understand the business and leadership side of church life. “I have no idea about some of the financial decisions I’m supposed to lead at the church. Seminary did not prepare me for this.”
5. Complaints to or about family members. “A church member complained to me because my wife isn’t in the choir. She’s never been in a choir and has no desire to be in a choir.”
6. Inadequate uninterrupted sermon prep time. “Unfortunately, some of the members think my sermon preparation time is free time for them to chat.”
7. Losing church members. “I wish I could handle losing church members, but I still take it personally.”
8. Concerns over church budget. “Giving has been down for two years straight. We may soon have to cut staff or pay.”
9. Declining or plateaued church. “I’ve done everything I know to lead our church to growth to no avail. It’s so frustrating.”
10. Designated giving toward personal preferences. “We no longer meet our budget because we have six or seven families designating their giving for their pet projects.”
"Most churches have the uncanny ability to make their visitors feel very welcome and very awkward at the very same time." - Dick Lucas
The above quote comes from Dick Lucas, one of our visiting lecturers when I was a student on the Cornhill Training Course , in Glasgow, Scotland some years ago.
 "Uncle" Dick Lucas, Rector Emeritus of St Helen’s, Bishopsgate, (London, England), & founder of The Proclamation Trust | Alright, fine! The quote doesn't exactly come from Dick Lucas... it comes from me and is the best paraphrase of something very profound that Lucas once said that I didn't bother to write down. Nevertheless, while Lucas's original quotation was certainly better worded than mine, even in my poor paraphrase one gets the thrust of Lucas's point. Namely, churches that are strange to us make us feel... well... strange. Moreover, I think the paraphrase makes a good point and perhaps even gives us occasion as Christians and churchmen to laugh at our own strangeness. Laughing is certainly something we should do more of. Yes, we want to take our beliefs seriously. We want to take the worship of God seriously. But we don't want to take ourselves too seriously. For if we do, any visitor bringing to our gatherings a fresh set of eyes will see the absurdity of our pretense. Let us embrace our eccentricities and delight in our God who is gracious enough to redeem people such as ourselves! |
Also let us continue to welcome outsiders into our midst as warmly as we can even as we chuckle at ourselves. As the book of proverbs puts it, "A Joyful heart is good medicine." So why not take your medicine right now! Watch the awkward welcome the visitor in the video gets when he stumbles into a strange church.
(BTW, you'll want to make sure you don't miss the singing of 'All Creatures of Our God and King' at the end... the recollection of this video has often made it difficult for me to remain dignified while singing this hymn in church.)
(BTW, you'll want to make sure you don't miss the singing of 'All Creatures of Our God and King' at the end... the recollection of this video has often made it difficult for me to remain dignified while singing this hymn in church.)
"Of God and of the Holy Trinity"
Westminster Confession of Faith
chapter 2
 God is good. Eggs are good. But beyond this they are unrelated.  "Know Your Confession" is a course in theology that examines the Westminster Confession of Faith. It is free & open to the public. Please contact us for more information. | Maybe you've heard this one... You were part of a group that was enjoying an amicable discussion of theology but when the doctrine of the Trinity came up everything changed. Suddenly the otherwise unremarkable person at your left dons his mortarboard (metaphorically speaking) and assumes the character of a wise sage addressing a group of rather stupid children in short-pants with food stuck to their faces. With a condescending smile that betrays his misplaced confidence the self-appointed professor proudly announces "Oh, the Doctrine of the Holy Trinity is no mystery to me. You see, God is like an egg. There's the shell, the white, and the yolk. Three parts but jut one egg." After offering this gem of "wisdom," the would-be wiseman resumes his seat with the air of a man anticipating applause. Not receiving same, he becomes sulky and the group awkwardly disperses for parts unknown. But in all honesty what other response could there have been to his astounding claim that "God is like an egg." The God of the Bible is NOT like an egg. So what is God like? And how are we to understand the doctrine of the Holy Trinity? Or perhaps a better question - what practical difference do these things make in a Christian's day-to-day life? Well, the Bible has answers and the Westminster Confession of Faith summarizes these answers very helpfully in chapter 2. Why not listen to last night's "Know Your Confession" class where we examine these things in some detail. |
During this time of the year it is not only wonderful to revisit our own traditions but to also consider the Christmas traditions of others.
Perhaps the best way to appreciate and understand other traditions is by simply examining the Christmas cards they mail out. I find that Christmas cards always convey more than just a simple greeting of the season.
Here are some examples for your inspection.
Merry Christmas!
PREFACE
The following article is based on the publishing of an actual document entitled "Reformed Red Flags," written and distributed by an unnamed source (I don't blame him/her for remaining nameless!) When "Reformed Red Flags" first made its way to me I laughed heartily until I stopped. "Reformed Red Flags" not only assumes a sweeping conspiratorial view of Reformed Theology but it also insists on several unintentionally humorous stereotypes of those who embrace it... point #3 is probably the finest example of this.
But now without any further ado I present to you:
But now without any further ado I present to you:
"How to out-smoke... uh... I mean, smoke-out a Calvinist"
A preschooler prepares to smoke-out suspected Calvinists in his Sunday School class As we all know there are two kinds of people in this world; those who smoke-out Calvinists and those who don't.
But speaking as a Calvinist, I guess I didn't realize there was much contemporary zeal for Reformed out-smoking... That is, until I discovered the document posted below.
Entitled "Reformed Red Flags" it was allegedly circulated by a pro-smoking Arminian at a Southern Baptist gathering. I post it here with a sincere expression of my love for my Arminian brethren and with the hopes that it will give one and all a good chuckle during this Christmas Season.
But speaking as a Calvinist, I guess I didn't realize there was much contemporary zeal for Reformed out-smoking... That is, until I discovered the document posted below.
Entitled "Reformed Red Flags" it was allegedly circulated by a pro-smoking Arminian at a Southern Baptist gathering. I post it here with a sincere expression of my love for my Arminian brethren and with the hopes that it will give one and all a good chuckle during this Christmas Season.
Today's useful insight comes from:
Michael J. Nelson
“The entire concept of pessimism crumbles the moment one human being puts aside thoughts of self and reaches out to another to minister to their suffering.”
 Tom Servo, Michael J. Nelson, & Crow T. Robot share a loving embrace on the set of Mystery Science Theater 3000 | Michael J. Nelson is the former host and head-writer of the Emmy-nominated, Peabody Award-winning program 'Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988-99). Mike has also appeared on numerous radio and TV shows, penned a regular column for TV Guide, and authored best-selling books. Unknown to many fans Mike is a Christian who describes the role of Christianity in his family as “the very centerpiece of our lives.” Today Mike continues his comedy work with MST3K spin-off 'RiffTrax' and enjoys touring the country as a much sought after public speaker. Mike is also good at lampooning political correctness (see Christmas video below). |
WARNING: The following post was born out of the author's annoyance. Having had his fill of secularists celebrating the Advent season with songs about:
a) chestnuts
b) yule logs
c) snowfall
d) drummer boys (who, having just gotten her baby to sleep would encourage a drum-toting toddler to begin banging away????)
e) logs on the fire filling people "with desire" (logs have never done this sort of thing in my experience.)
f) sleigh rides
Through the author's rejection of such secular trivialities he has come to have some appreciation for other secularists - namely those who make some attempt (however, poorly and/or whimsically) to actually articulate the real meaning of Christmas. The videos posted below reflect this.
a) chestnuts
b) yule logs
c) snowfall
d) drummer boys (who, having just gotten her baby to sleep would encourage a drum-toting toddler to begin banging away????)
e) logs on the fire filling people "with desire" (logs have never done this sort of thing in my experience.)
f) sleigh rides
Through the author's rejection of such secular trivialities he has come to have some appreciation for other secularists - namely those who make some attempt (however, poorly and/or whimsically) to actually articulate the real meaning of Christmas. The videos posted below reflect this.
Sure... I know... Pastors aren't supposed to like such things. And normally I would eschew the world of washed-up, falsetto-screaming, leather-clad rockers - but alas! I was once an aspiring rocker and these are just too good (and ridiculous) not to enjoy during this wonderful season!
So enjoy! And as Tiny Tim would say (not the one with the ukulele), "Merry Christmas and God bless us, everyone."
America's #1 Abortion Provider Tweets:
An Eastern Orthodox Christian Looking Unusually Joyful I wish to offer the following hypothesis:
Of all the people on the face of the earth it is Christians who should be the most joyful.
Oh, yes… I’m quite serious. I’ll explain more in a minute but first please allow me to put a smile on your faces with the following list I’ve compiled from various internet sources. For your enjoyment (and just for the sake of a good laugh) here are my top 15 church bulletin misprints... may you be filled with joy!
Of all the people on the face of the earth it is Christians who should be the most joyful.
Oh, yes… I’m quite serious. I’ll explain more in a minute but first please allow me to put a smile on your faces with the following list I’ve compiled from various internet sources. For your enjoyment (and just for the sake of a good laugh) here are my top 15 church bulletin misprints... may you be filled with joy!
Real Church Bulletin Misprints
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
3. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
4. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again", giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
5. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
6. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
7. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
8. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
9. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
10. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm - prayer and medication to follow.
11. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
12. This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
13. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
15. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
2. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
3. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
4. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again", giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
5. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
6. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
7. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
8. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
9. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
10. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm - prayer and medication to follow.
11. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
12. This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
13. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
15. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
Alright... now pick yourself up off the floor, dry your eyes and take a moment to think about:
The Real Reason For Christian Joy
Sure, the list above might be silly and only good for a cheap laugh... BUT a good laugh and a light heart should remind us as Christians of a wonderful truth – namely, our theology, when properly understood, produces great joy! Christian theology is not (nor should it ever be considered) merely the preserve of ivory tower academies, nor is it primarily a matter of reading what one scholastic brainbox from the distant past has written in response to another – Christian theology is simply about knowing God and knowing Him better. To truly know Him is to rejoice in Him.
Therefore, as someone has concluded elsewhere:
“That’s why theology is so exciting – it’s about knowing this God; the God who is, from all eternity, a Father loving his Son by his Spirit, the God who has revealed himself to us in the Scriptures, the God who has himself come to us in Jesus Christ and displayed his unimaginably great love for us on the cross. That’s why Christian theology is so exciting, it’s not a matter of trying to bend our minds around some philosophical construct – it’s about knowing this God! And Christian theology is transformative: as we dive deeper into knowing the true and living God, he grips not only our minds, but our hearts too – how could knowing him more not lead us to love him more, since he is lovely?! And then theology becomes very practical: as Jesus taught, when we love him, we will obey his commands (John 14:15).”
With all of this in mind please continue to do good theology, grow in your knowledge of God, and be filled with joy. Never forget of all of the people on the face of the earth, my Christian friend, it is you who should be most joyful!
Therefore, as someone has concluded elsewhere:
“That’s why theology is so exciting – it’s about knowing this God; the God who is, from all eternity, a Father loving his Son by his Spirit, the God who has revealed himself to us in the Scriptures, the God who has himself come to us in Jesus Christ and displayed his unimaginably great love for us on the cross. That’s why Christian theology is so exciting, it’s not a matter of trying to bend our minds around some philosophical construct – it’s about knowing this God! And Christian theology is transformative: as we dive deeper into knowing the true and living God, he grips not only our minds, but our hearts too – how could knowing him more not lead us to love him more, since he is lovely?! And then theology becomes very practical: as Jesus taught, when we love him, we will obey his commands (John 14:15).”
With all of this in mind please continue to do good theology, grow in your knowledge of God, and be filled with joy. Never forget of all of the people on the face of the earth, my Christian friend, it is you who should be most joyful!
in this installment of 100% true history from the annals of the Church....
Are you a married woman?
Is your husband a totally unbearable jerk?
Would you like to get rid of him without violating any international laws?
If so then St. Wilgefortis, the bearded lady armed with power from on high can help!
That’s right! Thanks to the help St. Wilgefortis, all of this can be yours!
Is your husband a totally unbearable jerk?
Would you like to get rid of him without violating any international laws?
If so then St. Wilgefortis, the bearded lady armed with power from on high can help!
That’s right! Thanks to the help St. Wilgefortis, all of this can be yours!
meet
Wilgefortis
the bearded lady and saint
Of all of the weird stuff ever produced by the Roman Church (and there’s lots!) little can be considered weirder than its 15th century creation of St. Wilgefortis, the patron saint of ‘women wishing to be liberated from abusive men.’
St. Wilgefortis’ very popular cult began at some point in the 15th century after pictures and sacred artwork from Eastern Europe were brought to the West by traveling traders and merchants. These Eastern pictures "clearly" showed a bearded woman – dress and all - being crucified as a Christian martyr. Unsure about the actual story behind these depictions a handful of people (most likely claiming direct revelation from God) claimed the bearded woman's name was "Wilgefortis" (an obvious choice), and began crafting a legend that would result in her promotion to sainthood.
According to her legend Wilgefortis had taken a vow of virginity in her youth but her unscrupulous father saw that she was beautiful and, in an attempt to get his hands on some cold hard cash was planning to force her into a marriage with a pagan king, her vow notwithstanding.
Between a rock and a hard place Wilgefortis prayed that she would be made repulsive. In His mercy the Lord responded to her prayer by causing a beard to miraculously sprout on her face. The pagan king, who apparently had always dreamed of having a beardless wife broke off the engagement in short order leaving W’s angry father to crucify her in a fit of blasphemous vengeance.... or so the story goes.
Between a rock and a hard place Wilgefortis prayed that she would be made repulsive. In His mercy the Lord responded to her prayer by causing a beard to miraculously sprout on her face. The pagan king, who apparently had always dreamed of having a beardless wife broke off the engagement in short order leaving W’s angry father to crucify her in a fit of blasphemous vengeance.... or so the story goes.
And so for more than 100 years the cult of St. Wilgefortis grew in popularity until someone came along and burst W's bubble by pointing out that the whole thing was one regrettable mistake. There never was any vow of virginity, no unscrupulous father, no pagan king to marry and no crucifixion - why? Because, as the bubble-burster pointed out, Wilgefortis was a myth... she never existed.
To all of this disheartening flood of information, many of the faithful objected, “But what about the pictures? Everybody’s seen them! If that bearded lady is not Wilgefortis, who is she?"
And that’s when the coldest and hardest part of the truth came home to roost… That crucified figure in the pictures was not a bearded woman at all. In fact nowhere at any time has a bearded woman ever been depicted in sacred art.
This being the case, the mystery was quickly solved. Apparently in the 15th century some artists from the East depicted Christ on the cross wearing a long robe instead of the loin cloth that Western artists put Him in. Mistaking the robes for a dress some Western Christians also mistook Christ for a bearded woman…
Thus was born the myth of St. Wilgefortis as here unfolded in this installment of "100% True History from the Annals of the Church."
To all of this disheartening flood of information, many of the faithful objected, “But what about the pictures? Everybody’s seen them! If that bearded lady is not Wilgefortis, who is she?"
And that’s when the coldest and hardest part of the truth came home to roost… That crucified figure in the pictures was not a bearded woman at all. In fact nowhere at any time has a bearded woman ever been depicted in sacred art.
This being the case, the mystery was quickly solved. Apparently in the 15th century some artists from the East depicted Christ on the cross wearing a long robe instead of the loin cloth that Western artists put Him in. Mistaking the robes for a dress some Western Christians also mistook Christ for a bearded woman…
Thus was born the myth of St. Wilgefortis as here unfolded in this installment of "100% True History from the Annals of the Church."
One final note...
Don’t worry, the cult of this legendary androgynous character was officially suppressed by the Roman Church in 1969 (finally!).... but anyway as Protestant’s we’ve never looked to bearded ladies for spiritual help in the first place...
What do these things have in common?
* Praise
* Prayer
* Proclamation
I’ll give you a hint... they all have something to do with worship music.
I’ll explain in a moment, but first let’s think about the wonderful problem of worship music.
* Praise
* Prayer
* Proclamation
I’ll give you a hint... they all have something to do with worship music.
I’ll explain in a moment, but first let’s think about the wonderful problem of worship music.
Why it's wonderful...
Shakespeare said, “The man that hath no music in himself... is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils."
I’ve never understood people who don’t care about music and I can see what Bill Shakespeare was driving at when he said that such people were better suited for “treasons, stratagems, and spoils.” There just seems to be something criminal about the kind of person who can sit idly by in a restaurant, chewing a sandwich and carrying on a conversation with a friend all the while being totally unmoved by the Nickelback “song” that has just begun oozing out of the speakers above them.
How can they just sit there????
How can they be so callous????
Why aren’t they on their feet demanding the speakers be unplugged and the radio ran over by a steamroller?
I’ve never understood people who don’t care about music and I can see what Bill Shakespeare was driving at when he said that such people were better suited for “treasons, stratagems, and spoils.” There just seems to be something criminal about the kind of person who can sit idly by in a restaurant, chewing a sandwich and carrying on a conversation with a friend all the while being totally unmoved by the Nickelback “song” that has just begun oozing out of the speakers above them.
How can they just sit there????
How can they be so callous????
Why aren’t they on their feet demanding the speakers be unplugged and the radio ran over by a steamroller?
Rod Stewart sporting a jacket from the Aunt Dixie collection As you might gather, when I hear bad music in a restaurant (or anywhere else) my reaction is much different from the aforementioned persons. Suddenly my sandwich turns to ashes in my mouth. Filled with a nameless dread I lose all interest in conversation. With a blank expression on my face and a hopeless look in my eyes I begin wondering aloud to my waitress whether I can substitute one of my side-dishes for a pair of reliable earplugs.
All of this to say, music REALLY matters to me. When it comes on, regardless of where I am, I instinctually pay attention to it. I just can’t help it! To my mind music is the queen of all of the arts. It is something to be treated with integrity and reverence. It is a vehicle through which the deepest expressions of the human soul can be conveyed... And yet somewhere along the line we exchanged all of this for Rod Stewart... oh, dear!
While I appreciate all forms of good music I nevertheless contend that the highest form of music is worship music. Here’s why; when properly utilized, worship music allows Christians to fulfill the main purpose of their existence – namely, to glorify and enjoy the triune God.
All of this to say, music REALLY matters to me. When it comes on, regardless of where I am, I instinctually pay attention to it. I just can’t help it! To my mind music is the queen of all of the arts. It is something to be treated with integrity and reverence. It is a vehicle through which the deepest expressions of the human soul can be conveyed... And yet somewhere along the line we exchanged all of this for Rod Stewart... oh, dear!
While I appreciate all forms of good music I nevertheless contend that the highest form of music is worship music. Here’s why; when properly utilized, worship music allows Christians to fulfill the main purpose of their existence – namely, to glorify and enjoy the triune God.
Why it's problematic...
C.H. Spurgeon co-opts youth pop-culture in an attempt to 'get young people in the doors.' I think many church leaders have forgotten why we have worship music in our church services at all... and this seems to have led to a great deal of confusion within the Church. What else would we expect to happen when previously shunned musical genres (particularly those common to youth pop-culture) are suddenly adopted within churches and promoted by leading Christian voices? Confusion has also arisen because of the adoption of a new pragmatic philosophy defending these genres against any who question their place in the worship of God (ever heard this one – “If you really want to get young people in the doors you need trendy music”???)
All of this does not appear to have led to the strengthening of the modern-day Church... If anything it appears to have created further divisions along artificial lines – namely, contemporary, traditional, and blended lines. Many churches even segregate their congregations along these lines, offering separate services to ensure that the respective musical factions will never have to worry about bumping into those with differing tastes. These services receive their labels form the type of music included and from the accoutrements of that particular style of music – things that run the gamut from vestments and pipe organs to sandals and drum-sets.
Surely, there is something very problematic about all of this.... right?
Plato is often misquoted as having said, “when the mode of the music changes the walls of the city shake.” Though this is a misquote, I for one believe that there is great wisdom in it. As the mode of music has changed within the Church over the past couple decades a very great and unhelpful shaking has accompanied it. Today in many places the music used in the worship of God is adrift on a sea of trends. The blustery opinions of every windbag with a love for a given genre seem to blow unrelentingly upon the church. In many places well-meaning pastors and musicians unknowingly shortchange their flocks with the kind of highly-commercialized, FM-friendly, theologically-vacuous songs that pockmark the landscape of "worship" today... And again, I believe that it all goes back to the fact that we seem to have forgotten why we have worship music in the first place.
All of this does not appear to have led to the strengthening of the modern-day Church... If anything it appears to have created further divisions along artificial lines – namely, contemporary, traditional, and blended lines. Many churches even segregate their congregations along these lines, offering separate services to ensure that the respective musical factions will never have to worry about bumping into those with differing tastes. These services receive their labels form the type of music included and from the accoutrements of that particular style of music – things that run the gamut from vestments and pipe organs to sandals and drum-sets.
Surely, there is something very problematic about all of this.... right?
Plato is often misquoted as having said, “when the mode of the music changes the walls of the city shake.” Though this is a misquote, I for one believe that there is great wisdom in it. As the mode of music has changed within the Church over the past couple decades a very great and unhelpful shaking has accompanied it. Today in many places the music used in the worship of God is adrift on a sea of trends. The blustery opinions of every windbag with a love for a given genre seem to blow unrelentingly upon the church. In many places well-meaning pastors and musicians unknowingly shortchange their flocks with the kind of highly-commercialized, FM-friendly, theologically-vacuous songs that pockmark the landscape of "worship" today... And again, I believe that it all goes back to the fact that we seem to have forgotten why we have worship music in the first place.
What's the solution...
The solution lies in understanding what these three things have in common:
* Praise
* Prayer
* Proclamation
Figured it out yet?
Ok, fine! I'll tell you... In the Bible, music fulfills three roles within the context of worship – the three categories listed above.
The reason we have worship music at all is to engage in one of these three actions - praise, prayer, and/or proclamation.
As someone has helpfully defined these three categories:
Praise is the lauding of God for His acts and attributes, acknowledging His supremacy in all things.
Prayer is communication addressed to God (did you realize that the vast majority of the songs you sing in church are actually prayers?)
Proclamation encompasses any activity that proclaims the Word of God – quotation, explanation, teaching, and preaching.
The author of these definitions concludes:
“I contend that when worship music is properly fulfilling these roles according to biblical principles, discord dissipates, unity increases, and the Spirit utilizes music for it’s highest purpose...”
And I fully agree!
Here is our solution – whatever genre of worship music we choose, let’s evaluate its usefulness and propriety based on the principles of the Bible. Let’s ensure that our choice of worship music is not rooted in the world, in pop culture, in pragmatism, or in mistaken notions of success... Instead let’s seek, by God’s grace, to conduct our worship music in such a way that every Christian under our care will be better enabled to fulfill their chief purpose – namely, to enjoy and glorify the triune God.
* Praise
* Prayer
* Proclamation
Figured it out yet?
Ok, fine! I'll tell you... In the Bible, music fulfills three roles within the context of worship – the three categories listed above.
The reason we have worship music at all is to engage in one of these three actions - praise, prayer, and/or proclamation.
As someone has helpfully defined these three categories:
Praise is the lauding of God for His acts and attributes, acknowledging His supremacy in all things.
Prayer is communication addressed to God (did you realize that the vast majority of the songs you sing in church are actually prayers?)
Proclamation encompasses any activity that proclaims the Word of God – quotation, explanation, teaching, and preaching.
The author of these definitions concludes:
“I contend that when worship music is properly fulfilling these roles according to biblical principles, discord dissipates, unity increases, and the Spirit utilizes music for it’s highest purpose...”
And I fully agree!
Here is our solution – whatever genre of worship music we choose, let’s evaluate its usefulness and propriety based on the principles of the Bible. Let’s ensure that our choice of worship music is not rooted in the world, in pop culture, in pragmatism, or in mistaken notions of success... Instead let’s seek, by God’s grace, to conduct our worship music in such a way that every Christian under our care will be better enabled to fulfill their chief purpose – namely, to enjoy and glorify the triune God.
Rev. R Crabtree
"...a son, a husband, a father of 6, a friend, a Presbyterian
(not the liberal kind), an eccentric, and a minister of the gospel... I am also the Pastor of All Souls Church and a Professor of Religious Studies at OCBC."
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